New years resolution

I have one very simple new years resolution thus year. " Be Happy"
I spend so much time dwelling on the things that make me unhappy, but I do little or nothing about it. From now on if something makes me unhappy I will change it.

Signs

I believe in signs. For example if you come across an animal and it really strikes you in someway. I honestly believe yoy should look up the animals spiritual meaning.
Most animals have several meanings, but I feel the correct one will strike a cord.
So for me the animals have been eagles and hawks.
Both birds of pray that teach you to look at things differently.  Look at the big picture and open yourself up to your higher self.
And most recently raccons. I literally opened the door and was right in front of one.
Raccons teach you to exept the gifts you have, but also to leave no stone unturned to get what you want.
I feel like these are both important messages for me. I feel like I really need to sit down, look at the big picture. I tend to look at bits and pieces. Figure out what it is that I actually want and then go for it.
There are a few things I want, but I am not sure if they are what I really want or just what I think I want.
I know that sounds silly, but truth of the matter is, sometimes we don't really know what we want. We just simply want something different because what we have doesn't make us happy. That doesn't mean the other thing will make us happy. And it might very well be, because it isn't what we really wanted.
So my goal is to figure out what it is I want.

Negative Energy

So I am a person who truly believes, like attracts like.
So I try to keep my attitude positive to keep positive things flowing in my life.
Exept I have to admit, somehow, somewhere things changed. My outlook and attitude are far from positive.
Honestly I can not tell you when the change started to happen, just that it did and things have gotten out of control.
I am grumpy with people, I jump to conclusions, I am judgmental, I am short tempered. In short I am a bitch lately.
And things in my life are going wrong. This past year alone, I have lost three pets, things keep breaking on my car, I no longer like my work place at all, and I didn't get a job that I was perfect for. ( I know that sounds like bragging, but I am dammed good at what I do and I know it. I won't apologize for that) Oh and let's not forget my syatica has been acting up a lot.
So the way I see it, I have to choices.
Put on blinders and keep on like there isn't a problem, or
Consciously make an effort to improve my life.
I choose option two.
First thing I will do is to try and pin point why things have gotten so crazy and out of control. There really has to be a reason for it. Time for some meditation, I think.

Weird recurring dream....sort of

So for the last week or maybe 2, I have been having this weird sensation.
The sensation is that I keep dreaming I am having a conversation with a lady. I don't know how I know it is a lady, but that is what I feel. I usually don't remember the dream, but sometimes I "feel" like we talked about my Mom or most recently about decorating the house.
I feel like in the dream, the woman is by my bed and I am in my bed.
It is such a vague sensation when I wake up that I only have flashes of very cloudy images in my head.
It is weird. It isn't like recalling other dreams. I am not even sure if I am having dreams or just imagining the whole thing.
I know that sounds Strang when talking about a possible dream, but I am not sure how else to describe it. It just feels very different.